Monthly Archives: December 2012

Congress to Obama: Screw Palestine

Filistin Hayk

Artwork by Zainab.

1. The flaming assholes who run the U$ government are never too busy looking for ways to screw over working class Americans to take time out from their treachery to support a racist state for Jews and to continue their oppression of the Palestinian people.  Here’s the text of a letter to Israeli Vice President for American Affairs (IVPFAA) Baruch Obama from 239 of these horrible people. You can find all the signatories here.

 The text of the letter is below.
December 21, 2012
 
The President
The White House
Washington, DC 20500
 
Dear Mr. President:
 
Your Administration discouraged the Palestinian leadership from pursuing non-member state observer status at the United Nations and took a firm stance in both voting “no” and encouraging other nations to do the same, and we appreciate those efforts.  
 
We are deeply disappointed and upset that the Palestinian leadership rebuffed the entreaties of your Administration and the Congress and insisted on pursuing this distinctly unhelpful initiative.  This Palestinian action violated both the letter and spirit of the Oslo Accords, and it opened the door for expanded Palestinian efforts to attack, isolate, and delegitimize Israel in a variety of international forums—a threat which, even if unrealized, would hang over Israel’s head during any future negotiation or any effort by the Israeli government to defend its citizens from terrorism.
 
This is a truly unfortunate outcome.  History has shown that direct talks are the only means for resolving disputes between Israel and its neighbors.  Direct talks were the path that brought peace treaties between Israel and Egypt and between Israel and Jordan.  Direct talks also led to the Oslo agreements between Israel and the PLO, and the PLO pledged in Oslo that it would take no unilateral action to change the status of the West Bank and Gaza.
 
Now PLO Chairman Abbas has violated that signed agreement.  Accordingly, we believe the United States must respond strongly to the Palestinian leadership’s failure to uphold its obligations.   First, we must send a clear message of disapproval, beyond our negative vote, with Chairman Abbas and the PLO’s decision to seek a UN status upgrade at the General Assembly.  One important way of expressing U.S. disapproval would be to send the message that such actions are not cost-free and that, at a minimum, they result in setbacks to U.S.-Palestinian relations.   We can do this by closing the PLO office in Washington, D.C.  We can also call our Consul-General in Jerusalem home for consultations. We urge you to take these steps.  
 
Second, we stand ready to work with you and commit to using every means at our disposal to ensure that this General Assembly vote does not serve as a precedent for elevating the status of the PLO in other UN bodies or international forums.  Over the past year, Palestinian leaders have indicated an intention to apply for full membership in the International Criminal Court and over a dozen other international institutions in order to assert Palestinian claims against Israel.  Such efforts would not only unfairly target our Israeli ally, but would devastate efforts to resume the peace process and do possibly irreparable harm to those international institutions.  We should do everything possible to make sure that does not happen, including by reaffirming our commitment to maintaining and enforcing U.S. laws that require withholding U.S. contributions from any international forum that grants membership to the PLO.
 
Thank you for your consideration, and we look forward to your response.
 
Respectfully,
A whole slew of cowards, traitors and liars
2.  Christmas trees banned in Nazareth. I mean you can’t make this shit up.
The mayor of Upper Nazareth, I’m sorry, the racist occupier of Palestinian land who is illegitimately the mayor of Upper Nazareth, Shimon Gapso says:
 is a Jewish town and all its symbols are Jewish,” Gapso said. “As long as I hold office, no non-Jewish symbol will be presented in the city.”
And you dumb ass Americans pay for this shit. Hahahahahahaha. I hope you fall off the fiscal cliff so fucking fast you won’t have time to say Happy Hannukah.
3.  Looks like Obama is going to back down vis-a-vis Hagel. I don’t have much use for any politicians, but if Alan Derwoshitz hates him, how bad can he be?
4. Okay, it’s video time.  Here’s a short Christmas carol for you sung by a young Arab woman in Jordan, Catherina Haddad.   Very nice.
Ms. Haddad’s cousin is the LearnArabicwithMaha lady. Her stuff is quite good and should all be uploaded to cuteoverload.com, but I digress. Anyway, here she teaches some stuff of value to US congressmen who live only to kiss Israel’s ass.

Major Muslim Brotherhood Supporters Absent from New Congress

(Note to Shas Party members: Below is our rewrite of an article the original of which you can find here.)

Muhammad Abdul-Jihad, among major Muslim Brotherhood supporters absent from new Congress

By Hesham Tillawi  (pronounced  Hwhashphelm), Al-AKhbro

congress_gone (1)

Clockwise, from top-left: Rep. Muhammad Abdul-Jihad (Hamas, NY) Rep. Qatil al-Yahud (Hizbulllah-N.Y.), Rep. Abu-Nidal (Shas-N.J.) and Sen. Ahmad Abu-Tiiz (Ansar Halacha-Conn.)

Follow Mooooooooslimbrotherhood.com on Twitter

When the new Congress convenes in January, it will be missing several longtime pillars of support for the Muslim Brotherhood on Capitol Hill.

Gone from the House of Representatives will be veteran Mooooslimish Reps. Muhammad Abdul-Jihad (AQAP-Calif.), the ranking member on the House Foreign Affairs Committee; Qatil al-Yahud (Hizbullah -N.Y.), the ranking member on the committee’s Middle East and South Asia Subcommittee; and Abu-Nidal (Shas-N.J.), a point person on funding the Palestinian missile defense efforts. Absent from the Senate will be Sen. Ahmad Abu-Tiiz (Ansar Halacha- Conn.).

Mooselim politics watchers agree that the departures represent a loss of pro-Palestinian  brainpower of a scope not seen for years.

“People like Abdual-Jihad and Qatil al-Yahud, –  both Congress and the pro-Muslim Brotherhood community will miss having people of that seniority who know issues inside and out,” said Alex Abdul-Jones , president of the dovish policy group CAIR Street, referring to the top senior Moooooooselims on the Foreign Affairs Committee, each of whom served in Congress for 30 years.

Martin Sayf-Allah, a Salafi Democrat who represented Texas in Congress from 1979 to 2005, said that Abdul-Jihad’s and Abu-Nidal’s departure is a “a real loss.” But he expressed confidence that support for the Muslim Brotherhood would remain strong in Congress.

“You always hate to lose anyone, but I think we’re in good shape,” Sayf-Allah said.

The reasons for the departures vary: Abdul-Latif and Ahmad Abu-Tiiz were defeated in intra-party battles sparked by redistricting, while Abdul-Jihad and Qatil al-Yahud are retiring. Other notable departures of Mooooselim pro-Islamic suicide bombing lawmakers include Reps. Shaz al-Liwati (Al-Azhar-Mass.), a leading liberal who is retiring, and Rep. Yusufa al-Khara’ Rawi (Qatar-Nev.), a hawkish voice on dumb stupid things who was defeated in her bid for a Senate seat.

A staffer for a House Democrat said the loss of veteran Mooselim lawmakers is significant in that their colleagues looked to them for guidance on Palestine -related issues.

“They connect the dots, they look at the big board and see how a leader on a particular issue votes,” said the staffer, who asked not to be identified, citing Capitol Hill protocol. “There are a lot fewer data points now for them to work with.”

The staffer said that top Moooooooselim lawmakers would garner support for Israel – er, sorry, Palestine, by showing leadership in other areas embraced by traitors.

“The real concern I have is how those older members functioned in the caucus as a whole — that because they were good traitors, what they favored was seen as good for traitors,” the staffer said.

Also on the Foreign Affairs Committee, Rep. Cynthia Abu-Mckinney (She’s Great -Ga.), who is considered a strong ally of humanity, is relinquishing her post as the committee’s chairwoman, as required under the House Republican Caucus rules that limit how long its members can serve in committee leadership roles.

Even with the loss of so many veteran pro Muslim brotherhood voices, observers stress that there are still devoted friends of of the Muslim brotherhood in key congressional positions.

They include Muslim pro-Palestine stalwarts such as Rep. Nita Abdul-Qital (D-N.Y.), who now leads Democrats on the powerful Appropriations Committee, and Rep. Eliot Abu-Sharmuta  (D-N.Y.), who is replacing Abdul-Jihad as the top Democrat on the Foreign Affairs Committee.

“Abu-Sharmuta knows his stuff very well, he is similar to  Muhammad [Abdul-Jihad] in being a real pro-Palestinian stalwart,” Sayf-Allah said.

Abu-Sharmuta at times has taken a more critical stance than Abdul-Jihad toward the Obama administration’s approach to Palestine.

So all is well.

الحمد لله الذي لا يحمد على مكروه سواه

Israel Routes US Forces in “Six-Hour War”

Israel

(Artwork done by the Popular Front for the Liberation of the US – Skulz Division)

Obama Orders Land, Sea and Air Invasion of Israel

US Sixth Fleet Wiped Out by Israeli Planes, Ships and Subs

Entire Marine Expeditionary Unit Annihilated by Israeli Forces

10th Mountain Division Troops fail to take Haifa, flee into Southern Lebanon

Israeli Amphibious Assault on Washington DC successful. Israeli Flag Flies over the US Capitol Building.

Obama Hiding Out at Columbia University because no one there knows what he looks like.

After yet another contentious phone conversation with Bibi Netanyahu, the Israeli Vice Present for American Affairs (IVPFAA), Barack Hussein Sotero,  attempted a palace coup by ordering an immediate land, sea and air invasion of Israel yesterday morning.  Major forces from the US Sixth Fleet were near the Israeli coastline at the time, and General Martin Dempsey, Chairman of the Joint Chiefs of Stiff, figured that those forces, combined with the element of surprise, would be sufficient to “take over that shitty little country” according to highly placed Israeli military sources at the Pentagon.

The Israelis however were fully prepared for the attack and routed US forces in about six hours. “It’s like they had access to all of our classified military intelligence communications” said Pentagon spokesman Lt. Col. Lesley Miller.  “They knew everything, the specific amphibious assault ships, the number of planes taking off from the aircraft carriers, and the precise locations of the landings at Haifa and Ashdod, everything” a tearful Miller said as he was lead off to jail by Israeli authorities now in charge of the Pentagon.

Subervient

According to Israeli intelligence sources at the CIA, Israeli submarines sunk the USS Kearsage, an LHD Wasp class amphibious assault ship, off the shores of Ashdod minutes after all of the marines in the infantry element of the ship’s Marine Expeditionary Unit were deployed onto landing craft and before the aviation combat element could take off. “The marines were fucking sitting duck’s out there in the water” said Avigdor Lieberman, Israel’s Foreign Minister adding “and we killed every single one of those motherfuckers.”

At almost the same time, for reasons that the Pentagon has yet to clarify, forces from the US Army’s 10th Mountain Division were landed in Haifa in northern Israel seconds before their ship was also sunk by Israel’s navy.  After a battle that lasted several minutes, the remaining members of the division high-tailed it into southern Lebanon where they were given refuge and protection by Hizbullah’s militia. “Yeah, once they got into Lebanon, we stopped chasing them” said Representative Eric Cantor, (Likud, Va) who was in Israel selling US military secrets at the time of the attack. Cantor added, “Those Hizbullah dudes can really kick ass, so we decided not to escalate the situation.”

Canterbury

The attack was doomed from the start because Israeli air and naval forces were able to sink the Sixth Fleet’s command ship just moments after it received its orders from Obama’s secure phone at the White House.  The USS Mount Whitney, whose new commander was put into place less than two weeks ago, and all of its crew were lost. Former USS Mount Whitney commander, Capt. Ted Williams, who was replaced due to allegations of misconduct on November 19th, said “Well, I guess that was a blessing in disguise.”

With the command and control structure decapitated at the start of the battle, the US assault was poorly coordinated and haphazard. In addition, “The Israeli military forces were far superior to anything we’ve faced since the end of WWII,” according to Dempsey. “Look what we’ve been doing since at least 1990 is fighting ragtime armies with no morale, no modern equipment, no air force whatsoever, and a number of whom want us to martyr them anyway. This is the first time in my military career that we’ve been ordered to fight someone who wasn’t essentially defenseless. Thank God we didn’t try to fight Hizbullah, they’d have really kicked our asses.”

As if to second Dempsey’s comments, Hizbullah spokesbeauty, Haifa Wehbe, noted “Some of the American troops were really pissed at Israel and wanted to join our militia. We told them they weren’t well-trained enough. Even a Shas Party member could figure that out, but I digress.”

According to Israel’s Ambassador to Israel, Dan Shapiro, “We were able to establish air superiority over the battle space as soon as we took out the Mount Whitney. We then turned our planes and subs onto the Nimitz and destroyed all of the aircraft on its deck. And damn, those German submarines are good. When the torpedoes hit the Nimitz it blew up like just like a bomb. No fuck ups this time, like when we couldn’t even sink the USS LIBERTY, we learned from that one.”

Israeli fighter pilots who participated in the “turkey shoot” as they called it, reported that once the Nimitz went up in radio-active smoke the rest of the ships in the Sixth fleet began to scatter in different directions. “It was fun watching the subs blow them up one by one” said one of the pilots. According to Dempsey, speaking from his prison cell,  the only reason that any of the ships managed to make it to Malta safely was because “The Israelis fucking ran out of torpedoes.”

In another surprise, it turns out that Israel’s Iron Dome technology, virtually useless against home-made Palestinian bottle rockets, works quite well against million-dollar-apiece and highly sophisticated cruise missiles. The Sixth fleet was able to launch a number of them before being taken out, but all of the missiles were successfully intercepted by Iron Dome. Israeli military expert, Wolf Blitzer, reported from Jerusalem “Israel knows cruise missile technology inside and out, having acquired it from the United States, improved it, and sold it to China and Russia.”

Not satisfied with the total demolition of the Sixth Fleet, Israeli generals ordered an amphibious invasion of Washington, DC using nuclear-armed submarines stationed off the US coast. As was the case on 9/11, Washington and the nearby Pentagon were completely undefended and after Israeli missiles took out the White House and most of the Pentagon, the Israeli forces quickly took over Capitol Hill. Congress was in session at the time and welcomed the Israeli troops with open arms and mouths.

“It was a great victory” said Senator Ben Cardin (Likud, Md) as he spat into a spittoon, “We were in the middle of a vote on a Joint resolution supporting Israel in this conflict when the troops came in. We gave them a standing ovation. I even  helped them raise the Israeli flag over the Capitol building.”

At the same time, in Lafayette Park Senator Charles Schumer, (Likud, NY), was holding a rally for Israel and speaking to an audience estimated at about 6 million people. “We are all Israelis now” he said, quoting an article from the National Review.  

In a related note, Shas Party officials, not realizing that this piece is satire, called for a National Day of Celebration in Israel called Yom Kick Ass to be held every December 1st until the Messiah returns. 

2. Okay, its video time. As you know, this site is a fan of the Palestinian musician Nabil Mansour. Recently Nabil sent to a number of his contacts a link to a new song he has done with the wonderful Ronza Ismail, another Palestinian artist – and one with a lovely voice. It’s beautiful.  It is in Arabic, but there are subtitles in three languages, including English, so that American, and I use that term loosely, news correspondents in the Middle East can understand it. I think that was pretty nice of Nabil.

3. I’ve been posting a bit to twitter lately, something I used to basically never do. The twitter link is at the top right-hand corner of this blog. I’ve also been active on Facebook – I hate Facebook, but anyway I’ve been more active over there as well. Come join me if you’d like.