1. These United States are engaged in illegal wars in two Muslim lands at the behest of Israel, completely support Israel in its continued genocide against the Palestinian people, and may well be getting set up for yet another war against yet another Muslim people who have done nothing to us. And we here at Mantiq al-Tayr are here to announce to you know that the punishment of the almighty Zeus is about to come down hard upon these United States for these crimes. The news of that punishment is coming from the Cassandra of the Constitution, the Nostradumass of the New World, the wicked bitch of the West, the one, the only, the founder of Atlas Shrugs, the great protector of all things Zionist, Pamela Geller. Here she is and boy does she have a message for you.
That message is that Islam is taking over these United States and soon you will all be forced to follow the Shari’ah.
Actually, that would be pretty f’ing funny if you asked me, after all we have done to the Muslims the past 60 years or so, but I digress.
Anyway, here’s what you can do to prevent your teenage daughters from not getting pregnant and from learning how to dress in any fashion other than that of crack whores in Washington, D.C.
Goys and girls, you must join “Stop Islamization of America” (SIOA) and you can go to their rally that they are having on September 25, in our nation’s capital. Wait, before you buy a plane ticket to attend this event in Jerusalem, please remember that our official capital is still Washington, D.C. which is where SIOA is holding its rally to save you from having to learn Arabic. (Congress each year tries to pass a resolution to move the capital of these United States to Jerusalem, but Usama bin Laden’s influence peddling in the US Congress has prevented the resolution from gaining a majority. Those damn Moooselims.)
Anyway, SIOA has arisen and warns you “about the threat that Islamic doctrine and those who support it present to our freedoms, and the future of our democracy and country.” For soon the Mooooselims will take over all of these United States completely without firing a shot. (They being right smart Moooooselims after all). SIOA just loves the film called “The Third Jihad” which “warns that radical Islam is working on a non-violent, cultural takeover of the United States.”
Yes indeed, right before your eyes, cute little Johnny:
Will be turned into thiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiisssssssssssssssss!: (Warning: scroll down slowly.)
2. Yes, indeed those Mooooooselims are just getting control over everything. My favorite Moooooooselim is this one:
I wonder how many of these 12 Federal Reserve Presidents are Mooooooooselims? I bet a bunch of them are even Islamofacsists. Oh, wait, here’s the answer. This article roots out all the radical Mooooooooooselim influence that permeates the Obama administration. Holy f’ing cow!
Anyway, let’s get back to SIOA, the 25th of September and the lovely Pam Geller.
So, the SIOA announced it is having this big rally on the 25th of September in Washington D.C. which just happens to be the same day that a Muslim group is having a special day of prayer there. This way they help ruin the Muslims’ day and act like the absolute bigoted Israel-worshipping traitors that they are.
The SIOA website calls for ‘every protest of this takiya-jihad-dawa event… [to] include some component of donkey, dog, and women.’
Pretty classy, eh? Could you imagine if on say Roshwhoreshanna a group of insane Muslims were to have a protest and encourage people to bring pigs into Jewish prayer services just what the outcry would be. But I digress.
The original speakers at the event were to be Pam Geller, Robert (Fuck Islam) Spencer, Nonie Darwish and Christine Brim. Yes, Pam Geller was going to be right there. But I just had to cancel my plane ticket because, for reasons that remain as vague as what the hell happened to those trillions of dollars Obama gave to Shari’ah-controlled Wall Street, the original speakers don’t seem to be able to make it.
However, SIOA is going to make this up to you by having Rebecca Bynum speak. She’s formerly of Jihad Watch – Daniel Pipes’ own personal hate organization. Now she runs the very deceptively titled “New English Review” which has lots of pure unadulterated Zionist bullshit. Rebecca, showing just the kind of person you would have to be to work for Jihad Watch, has this to say about bringing donkeys and dogs to disrupt a Muslim prayer service. Red highlights are mine.
“Because the Arutz Sheva article picked up on some of SIOA’s creative brainstorming posts to use humor and a bit of theatrics involving the things that are thought to disrupt prayer for Muslims – dogs, donkeys and women – some are already calling this loving group of people “extreme.” “
3. Now before you all go crawling underneath your beds cowering from the prospect that B.S. Bernanke is leading the charge to make you all become Moooooooooooselims against your will, there actually might be some good things about having Shari’ah become the law of the land.
1. It will put lots of lawyers out of business.
2. It will bring an end to the Federal Reserve System since loaning money at interest was banned by Muhammad who was himself a very good and honest businessman.
3. Prayer will be brought back into the schools.
4. Most of the time Ramadan will take place during the school year. That means for one entire month kids in high school and lots of middle school kids won’t be eating shitty junk food all day. Also, Republicans should love it because it means that the government won’t have to provide meals to poor children for a whole month.
5. We won’t have to fight wars for Israel anymore.
6. AIPAC would have to register as an operational intelligence service for a foreign government. They would then all be arrested and executed for treason.
7. The rest of the world won’t hate our guts because of all the wars we are fighting for Israel.
8. The hummus in the grocery stores will probably be made by Arabs instead of by Israelis masquerading as Arabs. (al-Jazeera Arabic had a nice documentary that I saw yesterday which has a short section during which a Palestinian woman talks about Israeli efforts to pretend that beautiful hand-made Palestinian dresses are actually Israeli. She notes that they come and steal Palestinian land and even their food and their clothing.)
9. The chances of a woman being elected president will greatly increase. We might rise up to the level of the peoples of Bangladesh, Pakistan, Turkey and Indonesia – all Muslim countries and all of which have at some point elected – yes elected – a woman a head of state. Bangladesh did it twice. (Hey Hillary, you can be a carpet bagger in Bangladesh just like you were New York. Convert to Islam and move there and maybe you’ll become a head of state after all. )
10. Perhaps, best of all, the Kosher Nostra will come to an end. By this I mean that those kosher symbols that companies have to pay for (and hence you have to pay for) that are on damn near anything in your grocery store (I wonder if there is one on US currency too?), will be replaced by the Sacred Islamic Halal Marker (The SIHM) Actually, the SIHM comes in two forms. One is less expensive than the other, so if you are just starting out with your hummus company you can buy the cheaper one. Imagine this being on all your food instead of those stupid looking K’s and U’s that are there now:
There’s a more expensive halal marker too. It is for those people, good Mooooooooooooselims all, who want to piss off Christian Zionists such as the creepy Martin Mawyer who is also speaking at SIOA’s hate rally on the 25th of September. It costs more, but you get what you pay for.
Yup. You’ll all be as happy as a pig in a poke.