Daily Archives: April 10, 2009

Oh Chanada! Canada Declares Independence from the United States

1. Canada, which since at least 1867 has been a suburb of the United States, has finally broken away and become an independent nation. Israel recognized the new state immediately.  Governor General Michaelle Jean’s position has been replaced by the Office of the Chief Rabbi. It is expected that the Chief Ashkhenazi Rabbi  in Israel, Yona Metzger, will soon appoint someone to that post.  However, Yosef Shalom Elaishiv, the man behind Metzger, will no doubt be the one who really makes the choice. No one knows who will appoint the French  Rabbi at this time. Stay tuned.

Prime Minister Steve Harper, below, consecrates his country’s new status and celebrates the nation’s name change.

Steve Harper, the Prime Minister of the Newly Declared State of Chanada

Steve Harper, the Prime Minister of the Newly Declared State of Chanada

2. Yona the barbarian Metzger is an interesting creature in his own Reich. Back during the Israeli massacre of anything in Gaza that moved this great humanitarian came up with a final solution for Gaza that the Gazans, ungrateful wretches that they are, have not even bothered to thank him for. He suggests that all of them be moved to the Sinai Peninsula. (Please note: this would be a war crime.) But it gets better, he wants the United States and the EU to pay for it! That’s chutzpah with a capital CH!

Metzger, like Rep. Eliot Engel (Likud, New York), does not feel that Palestinians have a place in Jerusalem whatsoever.  His reasoning is, well, Talmudic:

In the interview Metzger also described Jerusalem as “the capital city forever to the Jewish nation.” He argued that Muslims have no connection to Jerusalem commenting that “behind the Kotel we have a mosque. But when they pray even though they are in our holiest place, they face Mecca. Their back is to Jerusalem. So you can see from only one sign that it does not belong to them. They have nothing – no connection.”

As you would expect from the quotes above, Metzger sees himself as ecumenical, especially if his ecumenism involves bashing Muslims.

On a February 2007 trip to India, Metzger joined other prominent rabbis in signing a declaration against violence with local Hindu leaders, as part of a summit organized by the World Council of Religious Leaders. One of the points emphasized by the participants was the commonality between Jews and Hindus, particularly in regards to ongoing violence at the hands of Muslims. Metzger noted in his remarks that “Jews have lived in India for 2,000 years and have never been discriminated against. This is something unparalleled in human history.”

Yona Metzger is controversial in Israel itself for a number of reasons, some of them having to do with the highly idiosyncratic constituencies in the Israeli secular and religious body politic – very similar to infighting among the Russian communists. But there is also this:

Metzger had never served as a religious judge (dayan), though his role as Chief Rabbi would require him to sit as President of the Rabbinical Supreme Court for five years, before switching with his Sephardic counterpart to be head of the Chief Rabbinate Council.[24] Outgoing Sephardic Chief Rabbi Eliyahu Bakshi-Doron wrote a formal letter to the Chief Rabbinic Council complaining about Metzger’s appointment. In his letter, Bakshi-Doron described a 1998 rabbinical investigation into Metzger’s personal conduct and credentials, following the publicizing of multiple accusations of sexual harassment, forged signatures on wedding contracts, fraud and threatening other rabbis.[25] The commission of rabbis found Metzger’s explanations of his actions “insufficient” and ruled him “unfit to serve as a rabbi.” The commission, which included Rabbi Shlomo Amar, later agreed to drop the ruling on condition that Metzger withdraw his candidacy for chief rabbi of Tel Aviv, which he did. Bakshi-Doron was incensed to learn that, five years later, Metzger had now entered into the race for Chief Rabbi of the state. He called his appointment “a desecration of God’s name.”[26]

3. Let’s talk about OJ Simpson.  I mean we can’t always be talking about the Middle East and Zionism and all that stuff, right folks? So let’s talk about everyone’s favorite running back, movie star, murderer, wife beater and moron.  Okay, I can hear it now, “Mantiq, he is a wife beater and a moron and has proven that repeatedly. But a murderer? How can you say such a thing? After all, he was acquitted, n’est-ce pas?” (The French is in honor of the readers of this site from CQuebec, the French part of Chanada.)

Well  here’s the deal. Michael Collins Piper,  a very controversial figure who has said and written some utterly outlandish things about Israel (for example, MCP firmly holds the opinion that what the Israelis did in Gaza recently is evil, unlike the ADL , Eliot Engel,  and Yona Metzger), but let’s leave that aside for now, has come up with a new perspective on the murders of Nicole Simpson and Ronald Goldman. He does not claim to have found the true killer and he does not proclaim OJ innocent. He does note that his elderly mother and her “little old lady” friends at the time of the trial all thought OJ was innocent, but Piper says he cared not a wit about the case when it happened and is not a sports fan either. However, he ended up doing some research on the case and found some interesting things about a woman named Michelle. He talked at length about this on the Republic Broadcasting Network on April 6, 2009.  Here is an excerpt from his presentation. If you want to hear the whole thing, you can subscribe to RBN’s archives for $1.33 a month [4 million Chanadian] and do so on a monthly basis. You know, President Obama, who is probably a natural born US citizen, should have provided free subscriptions to RBN’s archives as part of his stimulus package. But, again, I digress. Below is the link. Listen to the Piper and then download the rest if you want to know more. (You will.)


4. Go back up and download that file. 🙂