The X (Rated) Conference

The X (Rated) Conference

(Image courtesy of Skulz Fontaine)

1. I do not know what it is that Dr. Juan Cole, whom I’ve praised in the past and no doubt will do so again in the future, is smoking, but Juan please tell us what it is and how we can get some?  Maybe it’s some new Israeli drug called Obamasy, cause when Obama mouths Zionist bullshit, Juan gets higher than Larry Sinclair in the back seat of a limo.

Obama’s speech about the Middle East given last Thursday was delayed a bit because it had to be translated from the Hebrew and all the State Department Hebrew interpreters were already working in Congressional offices. Fortunately, once it was translated the Jerusalem Washington New York Times Post (JEWNYTP) ran the speech through Mantiq al-Tayr’s Tafsiranator and noted that the pablum about the 1967 borders Obama uttered was just a bunch of bullshit designed to fool the Arabs and especially dumb-ass Americans. It worked on the Americans as Dr. Cole himself proves, but the Arabs have the Israelis figured out and shot the speech in the chest and the head and dumped it into the ocean.

Here ‘s JEWNYTP reassuring Israeli-firsters that the President was just joking.  They ran the speech through the Tafsiranator but attributed the results to unnamed “officials” in the Netanyahu administration.

Oh, wait, I need to digress for a second. A few days ago a very thoughtful reader named Kate made a comment on my previous post in which she suggested that it might be a good idea if the posts on this blog contained  little or no profanity noting this might attract more readers. We thought about it for quite some time and all the Tuyuur here at Mantiq al-Tayr gave their opinions. We came to a historic compromise and decided that for today’s post we would only use the F-word or its derivatives four times. That’s right we are only going to use fuck four fucking times. And that’s two already. The other two will really need to be well-placed.  But, as I said, I digress.  Now back to JEWNYTP and its use of the Tafsiranator. (Red highlights are mine, as usual.)

. . . Obama, like Bush before him, knows Israel will almost certainly not return to the 1967 lines in a final peace agreement. But the officials [actually the Tafsiranator] said Obama chose to stress a different starting point for talks, even though the negotiated outcome might be the same, to introduce a new element into what has been a stalled process.

“The positions are consistent,” one official [the Tafsiranator] said, referring to Obama’s and Bush’s policies toward negotiations. “We certainly know what the president’s position doesn’t mean — a return to the 1967 lines.”

Yup it’s all bullshit. Let’s see what the Israeli Vice President for American Affairs, Barack Hussein Obama, has to say tomorrow at the Conference of Traitors.

Okay, now before I go on, go here and here to see Dr. Cole when he is not on Obamasy. Much better.

JEWNYPT also points out that a bunch of Republicans are going to prove to the whole world that when it comes to Israel they don’t spit, they swallow. (The Democrats are no better. So please don’t email me about how I am partial to the Democrats. Only Shas Party members could be so stupid.)

“Republicans on Capitol Hill, meanwhile, injected partisan politics into the debate by vowing to formally condemn Obama’s position toward Israel in a resolution next week.”

And guess who is leading the charge? Recording artist and song writer Orrin Hatch (Likud, Utah).

“In a statement, Sen. Orrin G. Hatch (R-Utah) said he would introduce a congressional resolution next week “disapproving the president’s new policy towards Israel.” Hatch said the resolution would “affirm Israel’s right to maintain its territorial integrity.””

Hatch was so worked up about it that he issued a press release. I include a mildly edited version of it below.  Edits are in brackets.

WASHINGTON –  [After walking out of a bathroom with Israeli lobbyists] U.S. Sen. Orrin Hatch ([Likud]-Utah) today condemned the President’s new demands that threaten Israel’s security.  Hatch said he will introduce a Congressional Resolution next week disapproving the President’s new policy towards Israel.  Hatch issued the following statement:

“Israel is the United States’ strongest friend and ally.  By calling for a return to the pre-1967 borders, President Obama has directly undermined her.  Rather than stand by Israel against consistent unprovoked aggression by longtime supporters of terrorism, President Obama is rewarding those who threaten Israel’s very right to exist.  This is not only ridiculous, but dangerous.  [Pausing for a moment to swallow, Hatch went on to say] There is strong disapproval in Congress for the President’s new posture towards Israel, and I will introduce a resolution next week affirming Israel’s right to maintain its territorial integrity.

[Hatch then paused, coughed something up, sipped an entire glass of water and then went on to say.]

“Now, more than ever, the security interests of the United States and Israel are linked.  Iran’s quest for nuclear weapons is a clear and present danger to both of our nations.   We cannot distance ourselves from our Israeli friends.”

Okay, it’s video time. This one is a real treasure. The song was written by Orrin Hatch and at the end he even sings in it. See where his loyalty lies and sing along.

Oh, I have to interrupt video time. I didn’t use the final two “F-word opportunities” today. This means I get to use it six fucking times in my next post. Oops. Five times. Got to watch that.  But I digress.

I love this song, not sure why. Has our country become the Roy Orbison of this song?

“I stood beside him and sang with him. He didn’t seem to be singing. So I thought, ‘He’ll sing it the next take. He’s just reading the words.’ And then we went in to listen to the take, and there was this voice, which was the loudest whisper I’ve ever heard. He had been singing it. But he hardly moved his lips. And the voice was louder than the band in its own way. I don’t know how he did that. It was like sleight of hand.”

That’s from Bono talking about Roy Orbison singing the hauntingly beautiful song below.

Orbison was a real song writer. Here’s Bono on that subject.

“”The thing people don’t talk about enough as far as I’m concerned is how innovative this music was, how radical in terms of its songwriting. As I become more interested in songwriting, you hit a wall where Roy Orbison is standing.”