1. Damn, the tuyuur here at Mantiq al-Tayr are laughing their asses off at me and it’s been all I can do to keep them under control – those worm eating feather heads. You see, they just tested their latest invention – it’s called the “Zionist Bullshit Photo Editor” out on the latest version of Israeli Vice President for American Affairs Barack Obama’s birth certificate. They peeled away the various layers and found the original version. Oh the humiliation. Goy vey.
Here it is:
Yes, it's true
Yup, and I’ve been covering it up all these years. My father, Mantiq Senior, was the stork that delivered this baby. He says it was a long flight, but we never really got into the details. Also, he told me never to trust this guy. Dad, as usual, was right.
I wonder if Larry Sinclair is getting similar shit from his circle.
You can order the ZBPE here. Not yet available in Iowa.
Treason Fest 2011: AIPAC's Annual Policy Conference May 22-24
1. Hey goys and girls, it’s that time of year again. Yup, it’s time for your so-called representatives in whore House and Senate to engage in the annual bacchanalian/sodomite freak show known as the AIPAC Policy Conference that runs from May 22-24 in downtown WashingTelAvivton. Oh and this year there is a counter fest being held at the same time, and guess what, it’s being run by Palestinians. Well, actually it isn’t being run by Palestinians. It’s being run by the Vatican. Well, er, no it isn’t. It’s actually being run by people who are afraid to let Helen Thomas speak. Pretty gutsy. More on that later. But first let’s get to the ass-kissing and its repercussions for you and your loved ones.
From Kabul to Khartoum, London to Lahore, the threat of Islamic radicalism aimed at the United States and its allies is growing. How has the threat evolved since the 9/11 attacks? What can the United States and the West do to confront the global proliferation of Islamist terrorism? This session looks at the options available to policymakers.
The above quote could have come, these days, from almost anywhere. It could have come from Glenn Beck, Donald Trump, Mike Huckabee, Sarah Palin, you name it. No doubt it will not surprise readers of this website that the quote above is from AIPAC’s pages where it is advertising its upcoming hate conference known euphemistically as the AIPAC Policy Conference. The Zionist Jews want you to be afraid of Muslims, they want you to hate Muslims, they want you to kill Muslims, they want you to persecute Muslims living in the United States even if they are US loyal US citizens. They have worked hard to create a violently anti-Muslim culture in the United States. That culture is something I’ve documented here for the past two years and many others for much longer have done the same from their own perspectives.
They promote hate and you goys and girls fall for this bullshit every single time. And your sons and daughters then go out and die for this bullshit. They also, not incidentally, kill for this bullshit. In fact, the more they kill for this bullshit the more enemies we make and the more enemies we make the happier ZMIC becomes. (That would be the Zio-Military Industrial Complex). I also call it the Zio-cycle. More on this in a second.
I’m tired of having people come up to me in daily life talking about the “150 million Muslims who want to kill Americans.” I mean, if I walk into a coffee shop and sit down with my $35.00 cup of mocha (and no I don’t do this at Star of David Bucks) no sooner do I sit down with my laptop to start another post than hordes of white zombies come running up to me asking me this question. “Oh Mantiq, why do 150 million Mooselims want to kill us?” The fact is, thanks to our behavior, the number really should be much much higher. But in reality the number is astonishingly small. But this type of question comes up all the time because it is what people read and hear about constantly: that millions of Muslims want to kill them. It’s fed to them day and night. Click here and here for a couple of the funnier examples. Oh, and here too. Hell, you may as well go here, here, here, here, and here. Also, go here. But I digress.
There is a reason American are fed this shit about millions of Muslims. The larger the number of mindless Muslim zombies (MZBs) the better it is for Israel. Also, the larger the number, the better it is for the Zio-Military-Industrial Complex (ZMIC) to make tons and tons of money all the while controlling stupid dumbass Fox-fed Americans. Wonder why these stupid wars in Afghanistan, Pakistan, Iraq and now Libya seem endless? Because it means money for these people. They don’t give a shit if they bring democracy to these countries or a holocaust. In fact the latter is preferred because it means endless money for them. Remember those missiles we dropped on Libya at about a million a piece? Each time we drop one we then go back to the contractor and order another to replace it. Military people get promoted, their contractor friends make more money, and the icing on the cake is that Muslims die which causes more Muslims to hate us and so they do something and then we kill more of them. It’s the Zio-cycle.
The announcement above, from AIPAC’s website and which is featuring one of its many programs during AIPAC’s hate fest scheduled for May 22-24, is a typical example of what I am talking about. Let me rewrite this to illustrate my point:
From Lod to Langley, Herziliyya to Huston, Ashqalon to Anchorage, Tel-Aviv to Topeka, the threat of Jewish radicalism aimed at the United States and its allies is growing. How has the threat evolved since the 9/11 attacks? What can the United States and the West do to confront the global proliferation of Jewish terrorism? This session looks at the options available to policymakers.
Wonder how long an organization holding seminars like this would be allowed to lobby on behalf of a foreign power and never even have to register as an agent of a foreign government?
2. They Pray, Therefore They Must Die
Now I want you to read this carefully. The red highlights are mine. The radio conversation shows that the US military personnel involved in the mass murder of a bunch of civilians, men, women and children in the excerpt from the story I am citing below, had a thoroughly bigoted attitude about the people of Afghanistan. Thoroughly bigoted, totally utterly bigoted. This mass murder was a hate crime. Since it was a hate crime against Muslims, the ADL has nothing to say.
The US war in Afghanistan is a hate crime. The US war in Iraq is a hate crime. US support of Israel is a hate crime. And the source of these hate crimes is the virulently bigoted anti-Islam and anti-Muslim propaganda propagated by the main stream media, by a number of academics, by a whole slew of viciously anti-Islam and anti-Muslim websites, by many members of the United States Senate and House of Representatives, by any number of people in the executive branch of the US government, by “think tanks” that train US, state and local government and law enforcement agencies, by a considerable number of American “Christian” clerics, and by a huge number of Jews and organizations run by Jews. At the risk of sounding repetitive: One thread runs through all of these groups: the influence exerted upon them by a huge number of Jews and organizations run by Jews. The result today is that US popular culture is just as bigoted today, maybe more so, against Muslims as it was against African Americans before (and during) the civil rights movement.
So you dumbasses go out and kill Muslims, and the more you kill the more enemies you make and the more enemies you make the more money they make.
You fight, Muslims (and you) die, they all make money. Nice work if you can get it.
Here’s the Zio-cycle at work:
Nearly three miles above the rugged hills of central Afghanistan, American eyes silently tracked two SUVs and a pickup truck as they snaked down a dirt road in the pre-dawn darkness.
The vehicles, packed with people, were 3 1/2 miles from a dozen U.S. special operations soldiers, who had been dropped into the area hours earlier to root out insurgents. The convoy was closing in on them.
At 6:15 a.m., just before the sun crested the mountains, the convoy halted.
“We have 18 pax [passengers] dismounted and spreading out at this time,” an Air Forcepilot said from a cramped control room at Creech Air Force Base in Nevada, 7,000 miles away. He was flying a Predator drone remotely using a joystick, watching its live video transmissions from the Afghan sky and radioing his crew and the unit on the ground.
The Afghans unfolded what looked like blankets and kneeled. “They’re praying. They are praying,” said the Predator’s camera operator, seated near the pilot.
By now, the Predator crew was sure that the men were Taliban. “This is definitely it, this is their force,” the cameraman said. “Praying? I mean, seriously, that’s what they do.”
“They’re gonna do something nefarious,” the crew’s intelligence coordinator chimed in.
That’s right, prayer is an indicator of terroristic intent. But only if it’s Muslims who are praying. How, pray tell, could US military officers and grunts all hold the these views? It is because our culture is permeated with anti Muslim hatred which is literally ingrained in our civil society, our government and our military. See here, here, here, and here to learn about how our government at the state and local levels – to include our police forces is taught hatred against Muslims. Go here to see the utterly disgusting on-line web presentation by an officer in US military intelligence which is not only filled with falsehoods but is also in part plagiarized. Go here to see an unintentionally funny website by a guy who does comic books about how much Islam sucks. I have been told by civil servants that US government personnel place this cretin’s literature in the hallways of US government buildings. Did you know that Islam is a Vatican conspiracy? But I digress.
Go here and here and here and here to see what psycho’s we have or have had in the US military and what they do to Muslims. Please note that one of those psycho’s is a speaker in one of the links above. In fact, here is that same video but at youtube itself. It’s SenatorAllen West of Florida a former nutcase in the military who was rewarded by being elected to be a nutcase in the Senate. (You might have fun reading this link too, though I do not endorse the thesis, it’s deliciously ironic. )
Where is this all coming from? You get one fucking guess. (Shas Party members get two, of course.) How is it in your best interests that you are paying for wars in Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya and on smaller scales in countless other places many of them against majority Muslim populations? But I digress, let’s get back to killing Muslims.
So what did the drone end up doing?
At 6:22 a.m., the drone pilot radioed an update: “All … are finishing up praying and rallying up near all three vehicles at this time.”
The camera operator watched the men climb back into the vehicles.
“Oh, sweet target,” he said.
And they sure as hell were. The drone took them out about 3 hours later.
By the U.S. count, 15 or 16 men were killed and 12 people were wounded, including a woman and three children. Elders from the Afghans’ home villages said in interviews that 23 had been killed, including two boys, Daoud, 3, and Murtaza, 4.
All of the victims were non-combatants. Every single one.
The Zio-cycle keeps rolling along.
3. So yeah, there’s this alternative thingy to Treason Fest that is being held in WashingTelAvivton at exactly the same time. Go here to read about them and their activities. Because some very good people are supporting this alternative conference, such as the folks at the Rachel Corrie Foundation, Grant Smith, John Mearsheimer, Stephen Walt and Nadia Hijab, the tuyuur here at Mantiq al-Tayr voted, reluctantly, to support them. The vote was not unanimous. There was much bickering and gnashing of beaks.
The issue we had was that Helen Thomas had been asked to speak at the conference but once this was announced a bunch of people in the “Move Over AIPAC” coalition started bitching and moaning about it and so Ms. Thomas graciously decided not to participate but she did encourage others to join in this effort. She did not want her presence to be a distraction. Well, for me, the people who bitched and moaned about her are the distraction. If people opposing the Zionist stranglehold on this country are afraid of being called names because they invite someone like Helen Thomas to attend their function then they are doomed to fail in not only the short term, but also in the long term because they are allowing the enemy to dictate the terms of the struggle. Until you stupid dumbass American goyim say “enough is enough” you will forever remain subject to the Zio-cycle.
Nonetheless, due the presence of so many good folks of all persuasions attending this event, Mantiq al-Tayr endorses it and might even travel to WashingTelAvivton to attend. Needless to say, I won’t be speaking at the event.
But they have some really interesting workshops and I might pop up at one of them. Their schedule is here. Give it a good read. They are busy with all sorts of cool things Saturday and Sunday, the 21st and 22nd. One workshop that looks really extra cool is one that Grant Smith will be at. It’s called: “Exposing AIPAC: Delving into the Nitty-Gritty of How the Israel Lobby Works”. Could be very informative. Oh, and some guy no one has ever heard of, Jeffrey Blankfort, will also be at that one.
I hope Ms. Thomas shows up anyway. In case she doesn’t, you can all read her columns at the Fall Church News-Press.
4. “We are the ones who resist, from the river to the sea, from the north to the south.”
It sure would be nice if Nabil Mansour could be at the counter-AIPAC event I mentioned above. Nabil, is, of course, familiar to readers of Mantiq al-Tayr. Here’s a new one from him. Beautiful, simply beautiful. Get out your Mantiq al-Tayr handkerchiefs for this one.
1. Okay goys and girls, you get one guess as to who signed this. (Note: Shas Party members get two guesses and yes the red highlights are mine.)
“On Monday evening, Jewish families and their friends in America, Israel, and around the world will gather around the Seder table and retell the story of the Exodus, one of the most powerful stories of suffering and redemption in history. The story of Passover – which recalls the passage of the children of Israel from bondage and repression to freedom and liberty – inspires hope that those oppressed and enslaved can become free. The Seder, with its rich traditions and rituals, instructs each generation to remember its past, while appreciating the beauty of freedom and the responsibility it entails.
“This year, that ancient instruction is reflected in the daily headlines as we see modern stories of social transformation and liberation unfolding in the Middle East and North Africa. Against the backdrop of change, we continue to pray for peace between Israel and her neighbors, while reaffirming our enduring commitment to Israel’s security.”
Now I know what you all are thinking “Mantiq, you are just pissed because you didn’t get invited to the White House seder again this year.” Well, yeah, you’re right. Obama only invites the folks who were at the first one, at I have the satisfaction of knowing the Frosty the Flake Wooldridge didn’t get invited. Hope they enjoy celebrating divinely ordained infanticide while the Israelis continue to kill Palestinian children.
2. Next question. Shas Party members get two guesses again, but the rest of you just get one. What do all of the following people have in common?
Benjamin Netanyahu, John Boehner (Likud-OH), Harry Reid (Likud-NV),Robert Casey (Likud-PA), John Thune (Likud-SD), Eric Cantor (Likud-VA), Steny Hoyer (Likud-MD), Jim Woolsey Former Director, Central Intelligence Agency, Martin Indyk Vice President for Foreign Policy, Brookings Institution; Former U.S. Ambassador to Israel, Dan Senor Adjunct Senior Fellow for Middle East Studies, Council on Foreign Relations, Paul Begala Democratic Political Analyst and CNN Contributor, Mr. Ralph Reed President, Century Strategies
More on the above later. You can post your guesses in the comments.
3. Xymphora’s post here is worth a read. Now it just may be that the Synagogue Bomber suspect – a Jew named Israel Fisher who conveniently also uses the name Ron Hirsch – is just a wacko and got pissed off at a synagogue and concocted an elaborate bombing device on his own . . . or maybe something else is going on. Could you imagine if this guy were a Muslim? But I digress.
“The makeshift missile appeared to have been launched from a plastic trash can containing hardened cement found nearby. Also found were several roles of plumbing and duct tape, metal rods and three empty bags of demolition chemicals.
“A receipt for the three sacks of the demolition agent bore Hirsch’s name, address and phone number, the FBI said.
”Investigators later determined that Hirsch, who also goes by the name Israel Fisher, had boarded a Greyhound bus for a trip from Los Angeles to New York hours after the blast but changed buses after arriving in Denver.”
Anyway, it does seem odd indeed that this drifter was able to build this device all by his lonesome and then manage to leave a receipt for the bomb making materials with his name on it for the police to find. I’m surprised he didn’t leave his passport too. Or even maybe his birth certificate – they can be hard to find sometimes. But the receipt with his name on it was easily found by the police. Now that the guy has been arrested, it will be very interesting to see how this plays out.
4. If you want to understand why certain hard-line Islamic fundamentalists and tons and tons of just regular people hate the United States, then I strongly suggest you go here and download and listen to this excellent interview done by Scott Horton of Anitwar.com with Ray McGovern. You don’t even have to believe in any 911 conspiracy theories or anything. McGovern makes his case very clear and he is right on. If you have friends who watch Fox news – first of all you should not have friends who watch Fox news – but I digress. Anyway, if you have friends who watch Fox or Beck or any one of the zillions of other crazies the MSM provides us in order to make us stupid, I suggest you give them a copy of the interview. And as I said, you can even accept the official version of the 911 story – McGovern does not challenge it in this interview at all.
5. I have always found this video fun to watch. Not sure why.
6. Okay, the innocent little birdie in this video below is named Israel. The mean feral cat is named Hesham Tillawi. Look at how evil Hesham is here as he attacks this sweet, innocent and peace-loving birdie.
The following tidbits are just random samplings of things I’ve come across that some of you might find to be of interest. They are all completely totally utterly and thoroughly unrelated and anyone who thinks otherwise is just a conspiracy-minded wing-nut.
1. Remember the Solomon Dwek case that you read about here? Well recently a very spiritual man arrested in the case, Rabbi Mordchai Fish pled guilty to using Jewish charities as a cover for an embezzlement scheme. Of course we knew this would be coming. I find this interesting however, maybe you will too:
“Prosecutors said the checks were deposited into bank accounts held in the names of the charities, and Fish would subsequently arrange to make cash available through an underground money transfer network that stretched from Brooklyn all the way to Israel.”
(Yes, the red highlights are mine, stop texting me Ovadia.)
Of course the fact that Israel is involved in this is no surprise, just nice to see it in print. I also found this amusing:
“The transcripts show he would not use the word cash, but instead referred to laundered money as “gemoras,” a reference to part of the Talmud — the collection of Jewish law and tradition that explains the Five Books of Moses.”
And this too:
“Last week, another rabbi caught in the same sting, Saul Kassin, the 89-year-old spiritual leader of the nation’s largest Syrian Sephardic Jewish congregation, pleaded guilty to one count of operating an unlicensed money-transmitting business.”
2. “The Young Israel Movement for the past 99 years has taken the lead in ensuring that Torah true Judaism has survived in North America through its large network of Orthodox Synagogues. Its dedication to Israel has been unwavering.”
The Young Israel outfit is a bit more than that. It is a Jonathan Pollard supporting tax-deductable charity that ought to be driven out of business. Its full name is the National Council of Young Israel and here are some of its activities.
“Today, NCYI serves as the national coordinating agency for nearly 150 Orthodox congregations of nearly 25,000 member families throughout the United States and Canada. NCYI also serves as a resource to its sister organization in Israel, entitled Yisrael Hatzair – “The Young Israel Movement in Israel”, encompassing over 50 synagogues in Israel.[2] It is a grass roots organization administrated on the congregational model, taking its direction from local and national lay leadership as well as rabbis and professional staff. Its socio-cultural outlook is strongly influenced by the Religious Zionist Movement, with strong support of Israel as the homeland for the Jewish people. Congregations belonging to NCYI are generally named “Young Israel of…”, followed by the name of the city or neighborhood.
NCYI is a not-for-profit service organization, as defined by their 501(c)(3) status. The main headquarters is located in Manhattan, with regional offices in Florida, California, New Jersey and Jerusalem.”
They love Jonathan Pollard. As recently as December of 2010 the executive VP of NYCI, Rabbi Pesach Learner was speaking for Pollard in California. Here’s the a copy of and link to the poster advertising the event.
Poster boy for treason
NCYI reports that it also has “multiple daily conversations” with Pollard. This outfit ought to be called Tax Deductions for Treason.
NCYI does lots of really cool charitable work in addition to advocating on behalf of Pollard. Ever heard of Gush Katif? That was a collection of illegal Israeli settlements in the Gaza strip that was dismantled a few years ago. You can now make tax-deductable donations to these religious fanatics through NYCI. Click here to read how you can help these poor oppressed religious wackos with your tax-deductable donations.
“Spitzer’s office began looking at the organization, the National Council of Young Israel, in 1999, when the council made a routine application to the attorney general for a new mortgage. The mortgage was for a nursing home operated by the National Council in a suburb of New York City. The inquiry, routine in the case of a refinancing application by a non-profit, soon uncovered a $6.5 million liability that the nursing home had to the New York department of health.”
And this:
“The attorney general’s office also identified $130,000 in payments that went to the National Council’s executive vice president, Pesach Lerner, and were not backed up with contemporaneous documentation. The National Council provided explanations to the attorney general’s office for many of these payments, including $50,000 that was described as a loan to Lerner, and $25,000 described as an adjustment for sick days, according to the attorney general’s office. In the end, $20,000 was not accounted for and the attorney general’s office decided to hand the case over to state and federal tax authorities.”
4. We know that Wisconsin is in a bad state, pun intended, and that money is tight. But thanks to the American Israel Education Foundation David Clarke, a Sheriff from Milwaukee, will join a bunch of other law enforcement officials from around the US on a trip to Israel to study security issues. I’ve written about this foundation before, it is a part of AIPAC and it is infamous. AIEF is a tax-deductable non-profit part of AIPAC, just as is the Washington Institute on Near East Policy, the latter outfit set up according to this article to advance the cause of Israel tax free.
6. Rabbi Yoshiyahu Yosef Pinto is a very influential dude. Until I saw this link on Xymphora’s site, I had thought that a Pinto was just a shitty car Ford foisted on us years ago to take advantage of rising oil prices. Anyway, this Pinto is influential both in Israel and in the US. No doubt this is a complete coincidence.
“And his reputation isn’t confined to the Jewish state’s grittier precincts. In the hallowed halls of the Knesset, Israel’s parliament, Pinto is revered. A December 2010 reception in his honor was attended by five Cabinet members and an Israel Defense Forces major general. In January, he hobnobbed with opposition leader Tzipi Livni of the Kadima party at a dinner in a Tel Aviv hotel. And as the Forward prepared this story, current and former Israeli government officials contacted the paper on Pinto’s behalf.”
And you are going to love this:
“In New York, appearances by the charismatic rabbi can draw more than 100 people to his Midtown Manhattan yeshiva, including Israeli-born real estate moguls and Jewish communal heavyweights. LeBron James, the superstar professional basketball player, has also consulted with the rabbi.”
LeBron, I hope you lose every single fucking penny to these guys, but I digress and hell, I’m not even from Cleveland.
Pinto runs a non-profit – I’m sure you are shocked, called “Mosdot Shuva Israel.” The Forward article I’ve been quoting from notes that this outfit, which it says is about a 50 to 60 million dollar organization does have just a few problems. Read the article for the details.
His lectures are quite popular
“On that March evening, Pinto delivered his lecture in Hebrew with his 10-year-old son sitting by his side and Manhattan real estate dealer Ben Zion Suky, his closest associate in America, standing behind him, casually leaning against the yeshiva’s carved wood ark. As Pinto finished, the men in the room stood and shoved forward, creating a crush around the rabbi.”
Did I mention that Ben Zion Suky is a pornography distributor? Sorry, forgot to mention it. Yeah, and it’s boot-legged porn to boot, boot legged by another guy with a Jewish name from Canada. Suky is an Israeli who came to the US about 17 years ago. Anyway, go read all of this Forward article and you will come to understand some things.
7. Okay, it’s video time again and you are all in for a real treat. Here’s a lovely clip about Mosdot Shuva Israel and its founding Rabbi, the Pinto himself. I hope you find it inspiring.
We now move from the deeply spiritual to a story of love and romance, of hope and promises. A story which mirrors back to us in musical form the being which we have become.
1. The following question and answer session between a high school current events teacher and his students did not happen at your child’s high school.
Cast of characters:
Teacher: Marcus Abdul-Piper (Known to his students as MAP).
Students: Susie, Annie, Khalid, Barbie, Sheikh, Billie-Joe, Muhammad, Chrissie, Mayaada, Biff, Frank, Jihad, Pam, Spencer, Ayman, Adam, Phil, Hesham, Bobbie, Dolly, Shiva, Yasir, Shoebat, Webster, Ovadia Yosef, Frosty, Bettie-Jo and last but not least Ahmad Taqi al-Din Abu al-‘Abbas bin Abd al-Halim bin Abd al-Salaam bin Abdallah bin Abi al-Qasim al-Khidr bin Muhammad bin al-Khidr bin ‘Ali bin Abdallah bin Taymiyyah al-Harrani (the students just call him “Taqi” but he does not like that name. The teacher always calls him Shaykh al-Islam, so we’ll use that here.)
MAP comes into class carrying his brief case which he slams on his desk to wake up the students who suddenly look up in unison at MAP. Spencer takes his hand off Pam’s thigh.
MAP “Okay, goys and girls, we are going to wrap up today our discussion of the events in Libya. The principle wants us to stop talking about Libya, Tunisia, Egypt, Bahrain, the Saudi invasion of Bahrain, and Yemen so we can get onto our next and longest module, “Celebrating Israeli Independence Day” which will run from the start of next week to through the end of this school year and will resume again when school starts in September which is right after Yom Kippur is over. It will then run through our winter holiday and will end in February which is when our next module will begin “The Joys of Purim”.
MAP pauses for a moment, takes of his nerdy glasses and looks at the floor. His whole life flashes through his mind in a split second as he wonders how he ended up teaching at Bum Fuck Idaho’s only high school. What had he done wrong? Was it his decision to drop his major in high-tech engineering at MIT and get a history degree instead from Mississippi Valley State University? . . . Anyway, he quickly looked up and got right back into it. This was a very special subject for him and he really wanted to get one or two main things across to this class, his honors current events class which only Bum Fuck High School seniors with a GPA higher than 2.1 could take.
“Okay, which country has been leading the drive for NATO to get involved on the side of the rebels in Libya?” he asked.
Susie raises her hand and he calls on her.
“I think it was Germany. They want to kill all the Jews in Libya, at least that is what Pam told me” Susie blushed a bit having never uttered a sentence this long before in class.
“Good guess, Susie, but not quite. Anybody else have an idea?”
Shaykh al-Islam (SAI) raises his hand. MAP didn’t want to call on him because he always got everything right and no one else could ever get in a word edge wise with him. So MAP said “Okay, Shaykh of Islam, get us started, but don’t give too many details.”
“The primary instigators of this new crusade against the people of North Africa is the nation of France which is doing so for specific political, economic and ideological reasons. Furthermore”
MAP cuts him off and starts to ask another questions.
Spencer puts his hand back on Pam’s thigh.
“Spencer, get your hands back where they belong you creepy perverted vile bastard.” MAP had a way with words that everyone appreciated. Spencer complied immediately. Pam was pissed.
“Okay, kids who are the two Frenchmen who are behind this murderous imperialistic adventure?”
Khalid, Sheikh and Muhammad all raise their hands at the same time. They did this a lot, MAP always wondered why. “Okay Khalid (which MAP pronounces as Kaleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed), tell us one of their names.”
“Well of course the politician leading this blood thirsty crusade is French President Nicolas Paul Stéphane Sarközy de Nagy-Bocsa.”
“Excellent, Kaleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed, as usual. Okay, Shaykh (not to be confused with Shaykh al-Islam), who else?”
“Sheikh, close but no Israeli-supplied ecstasy for you on that one. I said Frenchmen, not Israelis. Anybody else?”
Pam pulls the back of Mayaada’s hijab, Mayaada turns around and slaps her in the face so hard it knocks her off the chair. MAP, a brilliant classroom tactician, then asks Mayaada to answer the question.
She replies “Well, the second person would be pseudo scholar and neocon imperialist Bernard-Henri Levy, though I can never figure out where the hell to put the hyphen in that clown’s name.”
“Excellent,” replied MAP. He really liked Mayaada, she was a good writer and ran a really cool website.
“Now kids, tell me what those two people have in common.”
Pam, back in her seat and sticking needles in some sort of voodoo doll, shouted out “They are both saving the western world from the Muslamic invasion. If we were smart we’d do the same thing to Iran right now.”
Spencer used this great answer as an excuse to pat her on the shoulder. MAP looked at her and said “Pam, you ignorant slut. Only Americans and Shas party members could ever actually believe that bullshit.”
Hesham and Phil nodded at one another, they both really liked MAP. They thought he should do his own radio and tv shows, but they knew that would never happen.
Spencer then chimed in “If not for Ber-nar-d-Hen-ri LEVY and Sarkozy the Mooselims would be right here in Bum Fuck Idaho abusing our women and eating our children.”
“We are already here, and I’m hungry as hell, Spencer” Jihad chimed in, with a huge shit-eating grin on his face. He loved making fun of Spencer and regularly took his lunch money from him and beat him up during recess – and in Bum Fuck High School recess was a bit different than other places. More on that in a later chapter.
“My father used to be a PLO Muslamic terrorist and he came to America and ate lots of Christian and Jewish children” said Shoebat.
“Then how come he is on the lecture circuit training US government officials if he is a murderer and a terrorist and isn’t in jail?” asked Hesham. MAP smirked – Hesham always asked difficult questions.
“Okay, Hesham (MAP pronounces his name as Hshm) that’s enough. We know that Shoebat’s daddy is reformed and even if he did kill lots of innocent people, frankly these days who hasn’t? Do you think we should put Richard Perle, Paul Wolfowitz, George Bush, both of them, Dick Cheney and others in jail too? I mean we’d have to build new private prisons all over the country. ‘
“Yes.”
“Hshm, you’re right, as usual.”
MAP had to keep the kids on topic. “Okay, now what do these two guys have in common. I want you to figure this out before the bell rings and you guys grab your shotguns and go outside for recess.”
Billie-Bob “They both have penises”. The whole class bursts into laughter.
“How would you know?” asked Billie-Jo.
“They are both white” said Frank, as he sipped his fifth.
“Correct, but not quite what I’m looking for.”
“They are both rich as hell” noted Phil, adding “and I bet they know the truth about the USS Liberty too, the fucking bastards.”
“Phil, watch your language. Please don’t say “hell”. It reminds me too much of here.” MAP was getting really depressed. “Still you are right on. But there’s something else I’m looking for here. What else do these two guys have in common.?”
The class looked at him with expressions similar to that of a dog that had just been shown a card trick. All of them but one, but MAP didn’t want him to hog the whole show.
“Okay, I’ll give you a hint” said MAP, they have something in common with Tzipi Livni.”
Susie – “She has a penis?”
Jihad “She is a penis.”
MAP, “O God, please kill me now.”
“Okay, one last clue, all three of these people have something in common with Joe Liberman.”
“They are traitors to the United States?” asked Susie. “Hmm, maybe there is some hope here after all” thought MAP.
“You should go to jail for that, you dhimmitudinous bitch” yelled Pam.
“The one who is truly imprisoned is the one whose heart has been closed off to God.” Noted Shaykh al-Islam. “He is truly a smart ass” thought MAP to himself “but I kind of like him.”
“Come on kids, what do all four of these people have in common?”
Only one person raised his hand. This pissed of MAP a bit because he knew that Webster knew the answer too but that he would never say it. “No Shaykh al-Islam, I know you know the answer. And come to think of it, if you give it and I agree then maybe I’ll go to jail or lose my job and have to move to another state.”
Shaykh al-Islam nodded knowingly and said “Okay, I won’t give the answer. Besides it’s almost recess time and I’ve got to go get my shotgun too. But I do have a question for you if that’s okay.”
“Sure thing, shoot.”
“What can your enemies do to you? Paradise is in your heart. Wherever you go it will be with you and will never forsake you. Look at imprisonment as a religious retreat. And if they kill you, you will be a martyr. And even if you have to leave, think of it as a chance to travel to a new place.”
The bell rang for recess before MAP could answer and Annie and the rest of the kids grabbed their guns and went out to play.
2. Oh the Summer time is coming and the trees are sweetly blooming
At least spring has begun and the summer is on the horizon. With all the horrors going on right now, there’s really not a hell of a lot to look forward to. The famous song known as Wild Mountain Thyme and Go Lassie Go celebrates the coming of the new season but this year as the US is now involved in at least three different shooting wars and as it begins its permanent descent into the waste bin of history, at least we can try to enjoy the end of winter and the coming of spring, summer and fall.
As readers of this site well know, I am a big fan of Liam Clancy who was buried in Ireland in December 2009. A monumental loss for those who love music, ballads and peace. Somehow, the video below, taken at his funeral (I think), captures my own current state of meloncholy as the sun rises higher in the sky and my country sinks ever more deeply into the abyss.
Two songs are sung in the video. The second one is the one I’ve referred to here Grab your handkerchief, chill out for a second, and give it a listen.
